Late Night Thoughts

I know it isn't that late right now, at least not my time, but that doesn't mean I can't have thoughts. Anyway, lately I've been thinking about changes. Mostly because I went through some major ones this year. I walked, meaning I crossed the stage from undergraduate to graduate. I got the folder for my degree, but due to some unforeseen circumstances I do not have my degree. I am now going to a JC. The sudden shift from a 4-year college to a JC has been rather harsh. I learned a few things. High School does not prepare you for a JC it prepares you for college. JC does not prepare you for college it prepares you for graduate college. I'm saying this because for some reason JC has some weird ideas about what college is like. I had a professor Thursday tell the class that a friend of hers (who happens to teach at the 4-year college I went to) said that the students that come from the JC ask questions that the High School kids don't. This professor was complaining about it. In 4 years at college I never once had a professor even hint that if we came to office hours they wouldn't give us the time of day. Every single one of my professors insisted we come to office hours. In fact a few classes it was required that we have at least one meeting with the professor. So the idea of a professor having problems with us asking questions blew my mind. I wanted to raise my hand and argue the point. In fact I still feel like emailing the professor and saying something about it. Problem is I don't think it would matter.

Another thing that JC's have is the old high school clicks. I admit that the 4-year college had some clicks, especially the Greeks, but when it comes to the JC I feel like I'm on a High School campus. There is no shifting of political ground a group has an area staked out all semester, not just for that hour between class one and class three (when class two is in process but they don't have that class hour filled). There is absolutely no parking. I thought the 4-year was bad for parking, this is nothing compared to the JC's parking problem.

I never thought I'd say this, but I miss my 4-year college. At the 4-year college I couldn't cross the quad without running into someone I knew. At the JC I can spend an entire day wandering and not see a single person I know. My first day at the JC I had to go out of my way to see someone I knew (a friend's mom works in the counseling office). After that I met a few other people I knew by happenstance. Every time since then that I've seen them has been on purpose. I have to go out of my way to see friends. I miss the random encounters (pun intended) of the 4-year college. Even still I was at the 4-year for paperwork I was there barely 20 minutes and saw people I knew. Hours on JC campus and no one. No classes with friends (I almost did, but was wait listed, there wasn't enough room for me).

I started this semester with a goal of not making any new friends. It's surprisingly hard. I'm not counting the one person I was introduced to, we only say hi in the hall anyway. I've gone out of my way to not speak to anyone I don't already know, for those of you that know me IRL you know how difficult this actually is for me. I walked past a group of people talking about the Zelda cartoon and had to resist the urge to say "Excuse me Princess". I wonder how well my promise to myself would have held up if I had said it. I went to the game room, it was closed (thankfully or knowing me, new friends for me!).

What am I getting at? I'm learning, that's what. I am teaching myself how to deal with a new environment. I have plans to move to the other side of the country for my career, if I can't handle a change in scenery here, what makes me think I can handle moving to the East coast? I've never even been to the East coast. There it is, I'm afraid of not knowing someone. Me not knowing someone...anyone. I can't go anywhere without knowing someone. I've been in Hawaii and ran into people I knew, not just one person, but multiple people I knew. What if the East coast refuses me that? Sure I know a few people thanks to the Internet scattered around, Georgia, NC, Boston, and even DC. That isn't the same though. I will have to start over. Sure I'll have my boy friend (hopefully) with me, but other than that I'll have to find a new D&D group. Or a book club or Anime group. Do they even watch Anime over on the East coast like here in Cali? I have an odd sense of humor, will they get my jokes? I don't want to start over, I really don't. I will though, and now at least I know what I will have to face. I know how hard it will be at first to not know a single face in a crowd of people.
Goodnight...or whatever it is really when you read this.